I'm Quitting Drinking For One Year At 81 (Part 1)

A report from the front lines of aging

Édouard Manet, A bar at Folies-Bergere — Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons

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I am an optimist, as my long-time readers know.

Lately I have been writing about a handful of ailments I’m dealing with, seemingly all of a sudden. One commenter to my last article accused me of throwing a “pity party.” He’s entitled to his opinion, but I don’t view telling the facts of what’s going on in my life as complaining. It’s just reporting. And I hope my writing, about ailments that you may also be confronting now or in the future, is useful.

All through my 70s, I thought I was aging slowly — suddenly, at 81, I felt I had aged 10 years. It seemed like I was sneak-attacked by a swarm of ailments from out of nowhere.

Of course, after I thought about it, I realized that most or all of my ailments have been developing slowly over years and are lifestyle issues. We age the way we fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once.

So I have decided to quit drinking for one year and see if things will improve.

It’s been hard for me to write about quitting drinking. I haven’t finished an essay since I quit on June 21st, 16 days ago. I figured I would write more when I stopped drinking wine every evening. But I didn’t. Stopping drinking has made me tired, cranky, and brain foggy, and I didn’t feel like writing.

I’ve been drinking 3–4 glasses of wine per evening, and when you’re drinking that much, stopping can be uncomfortable, but my withdrawal symptoms have been relatively mild, as I expected.

Here’s the real reason my writing has stalled.

Over the last five years, the cornerstone of my life as a senior has become authenticity — in my personal life and in my writing. So if I am faithful to that, I should write openly and honestly about my drinking and why I quit — so here goes.

I guess I am ashamed it has taken me all these years to do something I knew I needed to do years ago. And it has taken me a while to get up the courage to write about it. Once I write about it on Substack and Medium, I will have drawn up a contract of sorts, and it will be embarrassing if I don’t hold to it.

Here’s another reason why it took so long for me to quit and to write about it. I truly enjoy drinking wine, and I don’t want to let go of it. I enjoy being out with friends and getting loose-lipped and a bit out of control. I love saying ridiculous things — making people laugh.

I don’t feel guilty about my drinking. And I will not become an anti-alcohol crusader just because I have stopped. You be you. Drink or not — it doesn’t matter to me. Have fun, I say. Anyway, after one year I may go back to drinking (moderately) again. We’ll see.

Here’s why I believe I may be able to moderate after a year off the sauce.

I believe people drink to relax after a hard day, to numb themselves so they won’t have to think about their problems for a few hours, or to fill a hole inside that they may not even be able to acknowledge.

The last three years have been difficult for me with tons of psychological stress over my daughter and all the ramifications around that situation. I haven’t been just drinking — I’ve been self-medicating.

But in the last three years I have acquired a skill that has leveled up my life in many ways: writing. For the first time in my life, I have a unique talent that inspires me, fulfills me, helps others, and boosts my self-esteem. I may have filled that hole.

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There’s no doubt I’ve been drinking too much for a man my age. And if I stop, I think most of my ailments will improve. My relationships will improve. I will lose weight. My skin will clear, and the bloating in my face will disappear. I’ll write more and better. And most of the other health issues I have will improve.

Sure, I’ll miss my evening buzz and the fun of sharing wine with Marina and our friends. But as I’ve written about many times, there will be many things we need to give up in old age. Drinking is one of mine.

I have been drinking daily since I was 20. So it’s a lifelong habit with a groove so deep it’s hard to steer out of it. I was never an alcoholic in the way most people understand the word. I drank daily, but unlike an alcoholic, I could always stop. I would classify myself as someone who has engaged in unhealthy alcohol use.

Here’s one of the hardest things about quitting.

When you announce you have quit drinking, the first thing some people think is: “He’s an alcoholic, he should go to AA, it’s very sad he couldn’t control himself.”

It’s been said that the only thing harder than quitting is the pushback from friends and family who drink. This is a potential problem area between my wife and me.

• I’m disrupting our normal routine. We’re used to sharing wine in the evenings. My not drinking changes our social script.

• Marina may feel judged, even though I’m not judging her. She is a moderate drinker compared to me.

• Marina will miss her drinking companion. She might think, It was more fun when we were both drinking. That being said, she is 100 percent behind my effort to quit for a year. But I think she will miss our evenings with wine together.

• These same kind of tensions may arise with other family members and friends who drink.

“You’re quitting? they might say. Why dont you just cut back, moderate, only drink on weekends, or on special occasions, on vacation, or do Dry January?”

The moderation suggestions are endless because other drinkers don’t want to be reminded of the downsides to drinking. They don’t want to consider whether they may also have a problem with alcohol.

But there is no reason to worry about what other people think about my decision. If I worry too much about other people, I may rationalize an excuse not to quit — so I won’t hurt their feelings, or some such bogus excuse. I am making this decision because I believe it will improve my life.

I’m sure you are asking: why only one year? Why not just quit forever? That’s an excellent question. I believe that if I stay abstinate for a year and accrue all the benefits it will bring. I might be able to moderate. I know AA members may scoff, thinking I’m in denial — and they may be right. Or I may decide to continue sans wine after a year.

But this is my decision. It’s my body, my life, and my future, so I will take responsibility for it all, whatever I decide.

And what about seniors and drinking?

There are many articles and essays about how to stay healthy in old age, and drinking alcohol is rarely mentioned unless it’s a piece specifically about the downsides of alcohol. Because articles about the dangers of drinking in old age don’t get clicks.

What gets clicks is the story about the 102-year-old sheep herder, Giuseppe Mura, in Sardinia, now deceased. All his life he would put in 16-hour days, tilling the earth or following his sheep into pasture. He drank roughly a liter of local Sardinian wine every day. (That’s about 7 to 8 glasses of wine.) Drinkers read such articles and say, “ See — drinking wine is good for you — Cheers!

(Source: The Blue Zones: 9 lessons for living longer from the people who’ve lived the longest. Second edition 2008.)

The old guy in Sardinia is an exception. Do you walk all day in the rugged hills herding sheep and sleep outdoors beside them? Have you been walking those hills your whole life because you don’t own a car? Do you live simply without even a TV or a microwave? Are you living in a Blue Zone? Probably not.

I know alcohol is a touchy subject among seniors. It’s like driving. We have to make our own decisions about when to stop driving and how to handle drinking — when to moderate, quit, or continue as we are. Everyone ages differently and has their own age when stuff begins to happen “All at once.”

What are your thoughts about alcohol? Do you drink? Do you moderate? Are you a non-drinker? I’d love to hear from you in the comments. I will read and answer every response. I learn a lot from your experience.

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Tomorrow I will post the second half of this essay: 12 Things My Stopping Drinking Will Improve. In it, I will assess all my current health matters and why I think they will improve without alcohol.

Gary
August 2026