The Tao Of Aging

Four virtues from the Tao Te Ching to help you thrive in old age.

The Tao Te Ching is not an entertaining beach read.

And it’s very short — there are smartphone app terms and conditions that are longer than the Tao Te Ching.

But it contains a library’s worth of wisdom about becoming yourself and knowing yourself—and it’s been in print for 2,500 years. People must have suffered just as much back then as they do now.

The Tao Te Ching is ideal for older people—written by a sage who was called “Old Master.” In old age we are, of necessity, already beginning to do what it teaches: slowing down, simplifying, and preferring stillness.

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So, we are ripe for it’s teachings—and they sink in easier. Plus, I begin to understand the Tao Te Ching better when I started meditating. I see it as a book about how a master meditator would behave.

Lao-tzu, often translated as “Old Master,” wrote the Tao Te Ching. It has 81 brief chapters, and you can read it in an hour, but it’s been said it takes a lifetime to understand.

Why a lifetime? Not because you must read it over and over all your life, although you might want to. Reading will only give you ideas about the Tao. You’ll get knowledge but not understanding. You need to put its wisdom to use in your life.

“The Tao Te Ching is about only one thing: the Tao. There is nothing in the Western world quite like the concept of the Tao, except God, but Tao and God are not the same. The best definition of the Tao comes from Lao-tzu himself.

There was something formless and perfect before the universe was born. It is serene, empty, solitary, unchanging, infinite, and eternally present. It is the mother of the universe. For lack of another name, I call it the Tao.

The Tao Te Ching is not meant to be understood intellectually or as a philosophy. It is meant to be tried out as a way of being. You are the only person who has ever experienced old age in your skin and through your unique consciousness.

So, as you read the Tao Te Ching, it seems like it’s speaking directly to you. That’s how it is for me. That’s why it’s my desert island book, and is a permanent fixture on my nightstand. Open the book to any page and you’ll find wisdom you can apply to yourself.

I’m using the Stephen Mitchell version. Although there are hundreds of translations, his is my favorite.

Here is chapter five in its entirety.

The Tao doesn’t take sides;
it gives birth to both good and evil.
The Master doesn’t take sides;
she welcomes both saints and sinners.

The Tao is like a bellows:
it is empty yet infinitely capable.
The more you use it, the more it produces;
the more you talk of it, the less you understand.

Hold on to the center.
— Tao Te Ching, Chapter Five

Here are four virtues that I take from Chapter Five.

Humility

The Tao is the hurricane that takes the lives of rich and poor, young and old, alike — and scatters mansions and trailer parks like matchsticks. And it’s also the life-giving rain and sunshine that falls equally on the good and the bad.

If all matter and life on the earth, even the universe itself, were destroyed, the only thing left would be the Tao. That’s my crude way of trying to explain it, but as the Tao Te Ching says in Chapter One, we can’t understand it with words.

The Tao that can be told is not the eternal Tao. The name that can be named is not the eternal name.

We are powerless against the Tao, and powerless against old age. Trying to understand the Tao is like looking up into the night sky and trying to understand the universe.

But, though we are powerless to stop old age, we can understand it if we cultivate a quiet mind and a willing heart.

It’s best to be humble.

Acceptance

The wise elder doesn’t play favorites. She welcomes both saints and sinners. Which of your children do you love the most? The gregarious, straight-A student, or the problem child. Of course, you love them both unconditionally.

But why should love be contained within our family or circle of friends? Another great master, Jesus Christ, advised us to love our neighbors and to love our enemies. I’m sure the Buddha would have agreed. That’s a radical teaching, and those who can follow it are few.

In these modern times, we often don’t even know our neighbors, let alone love them. And love our enemies? How do we do that? Sometimes it’s necessary to fight — but it’s never necessary to hate.

In old age, it’s always better to accept everything. That doesn’t mean to lie down and let people walk on you. It means to live in the present moment and take action from there.

Beginner’s Mind

A bellows is a mechanical device that is empty but can produce a powerful and continuous flow of air when used. It is like a house whose walls, roof, and windows make it valuable, but its empty space is what makes it useful.

The Shiatsu school where I studied years ago had a slogan I still remember. “Empty stomach, empty mind.” It’s not only about not eating too much before massaging, but also that when your mind is calm, and not filled with random, extraneous thoughts, you can better concentrate on the person you’re trying to help with your shiatsu massage.

Martial arts masters talk of “empty mind” — that when your mind is empty of thoughts, you can respond spontaneously to an attacker. If you stop to think, you’re finished.

True wisdom operates from a beginner’s mind — walk like a house cat, listen carefully, and pounce like a tiger when necessary. Having an empty mind is a great virtue.

Creativity

The Zen lesson of the empty cup

A learned man visits a Zen master, eager to learn about Zen. The master begins pouring tea into his cup, but continues pouring even when the cup is overflowing. The man protests, but the master explains that the man’s mind is like an overflowing cup, full of his own opinions and unable to receive new knowledge.

I often get good ideas for my writing when I’m not trying. They come when I’m meditating or when I’m walking and enjoying nature. An empty mind is open to new ideas and better able to recognize one when it sees it.

Never stop changing

There is no reason we should stop growing and changing in old age. I began meditating daily at 75, writing on Medium at 77, and writing on Substack a few months ago at 80.

And I’m not finished.

There is no reason to stop being creative in our later years. In fact, it is necessary if we want to be happy and fulfilled. Just to create something for yourself, or for your family or friends, is enough.

You are already creating every day, when you get up in the morning and decide what to do, when you prepare a meal, or when you compose a kind word for someone who is feeling down in the dumps.

The universe is creating continuously —please join in.

At the center of the universe dwells the Great Spirit. And that center is really everywhere. It is within each of us.
— Black Elk

Gary
August 2025