Why I'm a Radical Optimist At 80
Radical optimism is not wishful thinking - it's a transformation of consciousness
If you are stranded on a lifeboat, do you want to be with someone who keeps screaming, “We’re all gonna die!
Or would you rather be with someone who says, “Okay, we’re on the lifeboat. Let’s remain calm and work together to find a way to survive this. We’ll make it if we all work together!
I feel like I’m on a lifeboat at 80, and forty percent of my age cohort (1944) is dead. I’m surrounded by marketers telling me to use their anti-aging cream so my wrinkles won’t show. They’re telling me to deny my age because nobody wants to be old.
Because youth is everything.
It can be depressing if you take this kind of crap seriously.
If I’m told that old age is a disaster and I should just give up and eat my applesauce. Well, no! — I’ll have a steak and a glass of red wine, please. Or I’ll become a vegetarian if I want to.
I’m not having another bite of the old-age-as-over-the-hill applesauce. I’m arming myself with what has become a perfect distillation of what I already believed — radical optimism.
It takes courage to be an optimist.
It’s sad to say, but optimism is controversial. Some people say it’s delusional; a state in which you are begging to be taken advantage of. Strong people (usually men) are not optimists — they are watching out for themselves because it’s a tough world out there and you’ve got to hang on to what you’ve got because life is a single player game — a zero-sum game. You’ve got to be tough. If you let down your guard, someone will come to take what’s yours. Check out some podcasts in the Manosphere and you’ll see this ethos in action.
Radical Optimism and Aging
Radical optimism says pay attention, tune into your surroundings, absorb what’s really happening, and respond with an open mind and forward momentum. Do this in old age.
I’ve learned from writing about aging that my readers yearn for hope and optimism in their old age. Many of you are fearful about what will happen in the future, and with good reason. You’re going to continue aging and will suffer illnesses, setbacks of various kinds, and eventually you’ll die. Every one of us, without exception, will die.
So if I’m old and speculating about the future, it’s easy to get caught up in “We’re all gonna die!” thinking. What can we do to break the cycle of doom associated with old age?
Here’s what not to do.
Don’t put on rose colored glasses and listen to “Don’t worry, be happy” on repeat. Don’t adopt an “everything’s gonna to be alright” mindset. Don’t recite affirmations like I believe in myself, I am strong, and I am happy.
Affirmations can be helpful, but I’m suggesting we make our life a living, breathing affirmation. Radical optimism is not wishful thinking — it’s a transformation of consciousness The first step is to stay in touch with what’s happening in our lives right now.
The second step is to assume that things can get better.
Why I’m a Radical Optimist
Optimism begins with being grounded as accurately as possible in reality — not the thoughts in your head about reality. That’s mindfulness.
Secondly, there needs to be an assumption that things can and will improve. This is the crux of why optimism leads to greater satisfaction, happiness, and joy in old age.
I believe most people are good and that the universe is a friendly place. I believe people are not out to get me — they are out to help me. I believe things will get better, and I can make that happen. I really believe this — it’s my working assumption about life.
Why am I this way?
Maybe it’s because of the way my parents raised me. They were kind people, they loved me, and although they were not wealthy, I always had good food to eat and presents under the Christmas tree.
Can A Pessimist Or A Cynic Become An Optimist?
Here are two ideas that might help you move from pessimism to “The universe is a friendly place.” First, be friendly yourself.
When you’re shopping at the grocery store, say something nice to the checker. “I love that shirt. Where did you get it?” Or, “Wow, thanks for bagging my groceries. You’re really good at what you do.” Reach out and be friendly, and you’ll receive friendliness back.
Secondly, recognize that it’s your state of consciousness that determines how your life unfolds. Here is a quote from Neville Goddard, who has had a profound influence on my life.
His book, The Power of Awareness, was written in 1952. I have rewritten the quote to be gender-inclusive because I believe his idea here is universal, and everyone should be able to benefit from it.
It’s the best guidance I know of on how to change your life.
Our chief delusion is our conviction that there are causes other than our own state of consciousness. All that befalls us— all that is done by us— all that comes from us— happens as a result of our state of consciousness.
My consciousness is all that I think and desire and love, all that I consent to. That is why a change of consciousness is necessary before I can change my outer world.
— Paraphrase from Neville Goddard, The Power Of Awareness
If we believe old age is a time for continued growth, creativity, and happiness, that’s how our old age will unfold. If we change our consciousness about old age, we will change our lives in old age.
Research indicates that people with a positive outlook on old age tend to live nearly eight years longer than those with a negative view. People with a positive outlook are happier and live longer.
Who would you rather hang out with? Someone who’s always griping and complaining? Or someone optimistic, friendly, and helpful?
Who would you rather be?
Gary
July 2025
I deeply appreciate your writing, Gary, and how your meditation practice informs it. Self awareness is the key to mental health—if we remain unaware of what and how we’re thinking, it’s impossible to avoid being deluded by whatever our minds cook up.
Natural optimism grows from knowing ourselves deeply, learning how to separate from our thoughts, and beginning to understand that no matter what happens, we will be okay.
Thanks for writing.
Who would I rather hang out with? Good question @Gary Buzzard! It seems there is an innate bias in relation to being human, amongst other ones, called the negativity bias. In short, the negativity bias is the psychological tendency to give more weight to negative experiences or information than to positive ones, even when they are of equal intensity.
What this means is that it takes more energy, focus, dedication and ingenuity of mind and spirit to counter, dare I say, overcome this bias to live more happy, enjoyable and content lives to the extent this is even possible. Meaning, it takes a pivot of some proportion or another to move the needle to the optimisitc way of weighing life, and more to the point our internal experience.
All to say, I'm putting time and energy into moving the internal needle to where you are hanging out in your mindspace. Nice to be with you on the Friday! :)